R 2023 Thriller/Comedy 2h 7m
Saltburn is billed as a dark comedy/thriller. I can be down with either so I gave it a try. Cut to the chase: I hated this movie. It was not suspenseful or humorous and it did not have any payoff at the end like a good thriller should. The initial premise is standard fare: a poor scholarship student at a prestigious school gets swept up in the lifestyle of the super rich students and is invited home with one for a visit. Fish out of water. Fine. A movie can still bring some life to well worn ground. This movie did bring some new things, but nothing I wanted to see.
I can’t say a single nice thing about the movie. The entire movie was shot very dimly and with a distracting aspect ration that left large black letterbox bars on each side of the screen. None of the characters were interesting. None of the characters behaved like human beings — even super rich human beings. There were repeated scenes of lust and seduction in the movie that all made me want to immediately visit an emergency eye wash station. Here’s a graphic example that supports my point: the main character digitally penetrates a woman who claims it is her time of the month. He proceeds to rub her menstrual blood on her and lick it claiming to be a vampire. The movie would have been more interesting if he were a vampire instead of just awkward. This same guy pulls his pants down later and has sex with the dirt of a fresh grave. You may wish you could unread this paragraph. I wish I could get my 2 hours and 7 minutes back.
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